Reclaim Your Power: The Best Books on Emotional Dependence
Emotional dependency can be defined as a state of extreme subordination to a romantic partner due to an overly intense need to maintain the emotional bond and affection. This relationship dynamic indicates low self-esteem on the part of the person exhibiting this behavior, as well as the possibility of harming themselves or others.
Likewise, This phenomenon can manifest itself in a series of behaviors that reflect addiction and compulsion., showing an asymmetry of roles where one party possesses disproportionate power over the other—although this may be mutual. To further clarify this issue, we've created a list of the best books on emotional dependence.
Best books on emotional dependence
Overcoming emotional dependence: how to prevent love from becoming a torment (2019), by Jorge Castelló Blasco
As we explained in the previous sections, emotional dependence is a tendency in which the affected individual's life revolves around their relationships, with these occupying a priority place in their universe. Typically, these relationships not only feel unhealthy and unbalanced, but they are. This means that the emotionally dependent person's love life is a martyrdom.
Although this may seem paradoxical, the person affected cannot escape this situation, even if he or she repeatedly wishes to. In his book, the author addresses all these issues, and provides steps to follow so that we can develop balanced and healthy emotional relationships. The best part is that the words come from a experienced psychologist in the exercise of this profession.
Quotes by Jorge Castelló Blasco
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"Emotional dependency, in its standard form, is the extreme emotional need that one person feels toward another throughout their various romantic relationships." (Interview on infocop.es)
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"Treatment should be primarily psychotherapeutic, especially when dealing with personality disorders. The main goals should be to increase self-esteem, normalize the person's emotional state (even prescribing a breakup, if necessary), and seek emotional balance in interpersonal relationships, especially those within couples." (Interview on infocop.es)
How to break your addiction to a person (2001), by Howard M. Halpern
Sometimes, even when love relationships cause more sorrow than joy, There are people who are not able to abandon the bond, not even for their own good, deceiving themselves with phrases like, "Yes, he loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it." If so, it's clear that the subjects in question are addicted to someone who will never make them happy.
The controversial author Howard M. Halpern, a psychotherapist very aware of these issues, wrote A step-by-step guide that aims to help readers break addiction and survive the breakupThe volume includes dozens of clinical testimonials addressing the following topics: "How to Recognize the Symptoms of a Harmful Relationship" and "How to Fight the Tricks Your Partner Uses to Hold You Back."
Quotes by Howard M. Halpern
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"Staying in a damaging relationship can be a lasting personal tragedy. Often, the reason people don't find a fulfilling relationship is because they are unable to leave a hopelessly unfulfilling relationship and move on."
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"I address those people who find themselves in key, harmful relationships, such as a lover or a spouse. The principles I develop can be used equally with friends, family, employees, jobs, etc."
Love or depend? (2010), by Walter Riso
Walter Riso is not only one of the most popular psychologists of recent times, but also one of the most eloquent speakers and communicators of his profession. According to him, Giving yourself emotionally does not mean losing yourself in the other, but rather to add another person to the growth that both will experience thanks to that bond. Healthy love is the sum of two, not a subtraction where everyone loses.
Popular culture of yesteryear had left us with the certainty that one could not love independently. Fortunately, these old ideas have been subverted to reveal a kinder way of connecting with our loved ones: through freedom, individual and shared tastes, and trust. In her book, Walter Riso talks about how to eliminate psychological ties to keep the fire of love alive.
Walter Riso quotes
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"When love knocks, it will burst in like a torrent: you won't be able to shut out the bad and only welcome the good. If you think love equals happiness, you've come down the wrong path."
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"The false paradox: happy idiot or unhappy sage is resolved. There is a third, better option: happy sage, even if it's redundant, because there is no wisdom without joy."
Women who love too much (2019), by Robin Norwood
Through this book, The author offers alternatives for women who love too much to learn to direct that love toward themselves., in order to build healthy and happy future relationships. Since its publication, the book has broken sales records, becoming a go-to guide for many women, and offering a clear course on how to break harmful patterns.
"When most of our conversations with close friends are about him—his problems, ideas, actions, and feelings—when almost all of our sentences begin with 'he...', we're loving too much," the writer says. From her perspective on psychology, Norwood has been advising women for over thirty years, for the wrong reasons, are with the wrong guy.
Robin Norwood Quotes
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"True acceptance of a person as they are, without trying to change them through encouragement, manipulation, or coercion, is a very high form of love, and very difficult for most of us to practice."
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"We all tend to believe that suffering is a sign of true love, that refusing to suffer is selfish, and that if a man has a problem, a woman should help him change."
When loving too much is depending (2018), by Silvia Congost
This book is designed for all those people who feel trapped in a relationship that doesn't make them happy, who have lost control of their lives and need, now more than ever, to know how to help themselves. It's clear that In a loving relationship there are no guarantees, but there are those who get caught up in these dynamics that, in the end, only generate pain and discomfort for both parties.
In most occasions, Those who suffer from emotional dependence have a misconception of love, believing that love is equivalent to suffering. In this sense, the best way to shake off these ideas is to listen, read, and ultimately seek professional therapy from people like Congost, a psychologist with years of experience in clinical practice specializing in emotional dependency.
Quotes by Silvia Congost
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"When a person strengthens their self-esteem to remind themselves that they are strong and capable, that they deserve to be happy and feel at peace, and they begin to truly commit to what they honestly desire, that is when they experience true liberation."
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"There are no such things as failed relationships. Relationships end, just like everything else in life. Some last longer, others less, and they all teach us things, and we learn from them all."
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"Have the courage to be vulnerable with those you trust. This will allow you to be more authentic and truthful, strengthen your bond, and deepen your friendship."
Dependent loves (2013), by Amparo and Emilia Serra Salcedo
This is a book that examines romantic relationships from the perspective of those who suffer from severe emotional dependence. Using a more experiential approach, The authors explore how these links might develop, the patterns of behavior that sustain them and the consequences that are unleashed in the lives of those who experience them.
The work is a combination of psychological theory with real-life examples, allowing potential readers to identify warning signs in their own emotional relationships. The writers also offer tools to foster healthier and more balanced relationshipsThey also invite us to reflect on the way we approach others.
Detaching without anesthesia: how to strengthen emotional independence (2015), by Walter Riso
This is a fundamental book for understanding how attachment works in adults and what causes it. At the same time, The author gives us the keys to overcome this state and not fall into it again., in addition to providing the reader with the necessary resources to maintain their individual passion and desire to carry out their own projects, without depending on their partner to achieve them.
Riso's best feature is, almost always, that he uses real examples from his clinical practice, and this allows readers to more clearly understand all the author's references. He has become an expert in explaining—like a pedagogue—all the risks of attachment and the best ways to deal with it. In this book, The psychologist invites us to defend emotional independence.
