Healing Relationships: Best Books on Family Constellations
Family constellations are a therapeutic approach created by psychotherapist, educator, and former Catholic priest Bert Hellinger. They seek to resolve conflicts between members of a family circle, increase self-awareness, and foster positive personal change. Conflicts are addressed from a systematic perspective, grounded in physics, biology, and behavioral epigenetics.
Similarly, family constellations are aimed at identifying the type of relationships established between the members of a family system. In this way, conceives each member not as an individual, but as the archetype that it represents for the constellatedIf you'd like to learn all about it, we invite you to read our selection of the best books on family constellations.
Best books on family constellations
Where are the coins?: The story of our fathers (2008), by Joan Garriga Bacardi
This is a story for adults whose premise is the following: the key to the door to fulfillment is a single word: yes. In this book, humanistic psychologist and founding member of the Institut Gestalt, Joan Garriga, uncovers an essential issue that concerns us all: carrying out the process of accepting our origins and the legacy of our ancestors in order to, through this, find our place in the world.
The author also provides tools—both for those who view their parents with love and for those who observe them with resentment—to find a path to reconciliation with certain behaviors and experiences, unraveling a way to seek one's own peace and overcome the obstacles and wounds that many carry throughout their lives.
Quotes from Joan Garriga Bacardi
- "Everything has its moment in life: the moment to arrive, the moment to remain, and the moment to leave. Half of life is for climbing the mountain and shouting from the rooftops, 'I exist.' And the other half is for descending into the luminous nothingness, where everything is about letting go, rejoicing, and celebrating."
- "We can grow while we protect ourselves, but we develop especially when we stop doing so, because true growth occurs when each person faces what they fear or what they believe they lack."
Happiness that lasts. The essence of family constellations. (2017), by Bert Hellinger
We cannot speak of constellations family not to mention a book by the writer who started it all. In his text, The author argues that meditation is a practice through which it is possible to connect with the inner self. in order to achieve the most lasting happiness, one that doesn't fade in the face of the slightest conflict. Consequently, it is possible to find fulfillment in romantic and family relationships.
The book also insists on the idea that "Well-being is based on respect for the subtle order of family systems" and in the achievement of love in our relationships," since it is in the latter where we rest from the hectic pace of everyday life, allowing us to feel safe in an often chaotic environment. When everyone we live with has a place, everyone is exclusive.
Quotes by Bert Hellinger
- «It is necessary to go beyond the boundaries of good and evil, of guilt and atonement (…) and place oneself at the level of destiny, of an ultimate Self, of pure love (…)».
- "Bring to mind what has been difficult or painful in your life. Tell it: I take all those things into my heart, just as they happened, and I will do something with them. This has allowed me to grow. Thank you."
- "The determining movement of our soul that causes illness is the love of connection. That love that unites us to our family and its destiny."
True love in a couple: when one plus one is more than two (2022), by Joan Garriga
The author starts from a rather ambiguous premise: "I have good news: no one can make you unhappy. And I have bad news: no one can make you happy." This simply means that our happiness depends on the thoughts and actions we take throughout our lives. It's apparently a philosophy similar to Stoicism, where what matters most is how we react to life.
This isn't a book about what to do or what not to do in a relationship. The author doesn't propose ideal relationships, but rather talks about diverse relationships, with their own patterns and lifestyles. Joan Garriga also addresses the issues that typically make or break a relationship, those ingredients that are often missing or unnecessary.
Dual Happiness. Bert Hellinger and his Systemic Psychotherapy (1999), by Gunthard Weber
This is a profound exploration of family constellations and Bert Hellinger's therapeutic thinking, presented through the close and analytical lens of Gunthard Weber, one of his most distinguished collaborators and editors. In this book, Weber outlines the fundamental principles of systemic psychotherapy developed by Hellinger.
They expose the unconscious dynamics at work within families—such as invisible loyalties, repeated destinies, or interrupted ties—that powerfully influence people's lives. The author shows how family constellations bring these systemic entanglements to light., facilitating a healing understanding that can bring order, belonging, and reconciliation.
Living in the soul: loving what is, loving what we are and loving those who are (2014), by Joan Garriga Bacardi
The author, an experienced and renowned therapist in the field of Gestalt and family constellations, shows readers how to bring order to their emotions and inner life. The writer also insists on surrendering to the mystery of life to avoid stress., and achieve lasting peace of mind. His proposal is very simple: love what is, love what we are, and love those who are.
Although it may seem complicated, Garriga Bacardí proposes learning to intelligently recognize and inhabit the "Gregular Soul," the concept that explains how we connect with social groups and belongings. The next step is to move towards the "Great Soul", through which it is possible to witness the emergence of the most authentic self. From this perspective, life becomes about acceptance.
Orders of Love. Selected Courses by Bert Hellinger (2011), by Bert Hellinger
This is Bert Hellinger's fundamental work, which demonstrates all his theory and knowledge of family constellations. Over the years, The text has become an essential tool to help many people in the world, going far beyond its role as a resource for psychotherapy. In the 2011 edition, the author invites readers to explore the path of human relationships.
This is, nothing more and nothing less, than the path to understanding the pre-established orders for love and other relationships, given that many illnesses arise from loving without wisdom, ignoring the aforementioned orders. In this sense, Understanding them becomes the starting point for obtaining benefits, both for us and for our environment.
